Christmas: Threat or Menace?


Q: Dear Madison,

It has regretfully come to my attention that a certain household celebrated Christmas this year with garish lights on their house and, of all things, a Christmas tree. What is this island coming to??

It won’t be long before households from one end of Colony Island to the other will be doing this and the next thing you know, the residents will be acting more and more like – I shudder at the thought of it – humans. This will only encourage more humans will to come live among us, and pretend they’re Mer.

While it is flattering that humans want to emulate us, the reality is they can never truly become one of us, no matter how hard they may try. We need to nip all this in the bud before things go too far.

I am sure you will want to join my campaign to put an immediate halt to this nonsense and escort any and all humans who have tried to insinuate themselves, to the town limits. Once they are out of our sight, we can demolish that ridiculous little bridge and consider returning to the sea where we belong.


Samia Marinos

A: Dear Samia,

                You will, no doubt, be surprised to learn that Helen and Avery Johnson have celebrated Christmas ever since his arrival on the island. What’s more, their eldest son and his mate celebrate Christmas even though they are good Poseidonians like the rest of us. As I understand it, Avery’s family on the mainland was never much for decorating the outside of their houses for the holidays. Avery has so far followed suit though this may change in the coming years.

                I’ve had a chance to interview the mermaid of that certain household on 9th St. and she revealed what a wonderful time they all had. According to her, Christmas has helped bring her family even closer together. Both she and her mate consider themselves very fortunate that their daughter chose a human.

                We have had number of humans join us over the years and there are quite a few residents who thank Poseidon that Peter MacPherson has come to live with us.

                As for the Christmas lights, there is a small number of households who are considering lighting their homes next year and the trend will no doubt continue. Like it or not, these mainlanders are here to stay and I, for one, am thankful for that.


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