The Bare Facts

Dear Madison,

I was on my way to the beach at the end of 12th Street, for an evening swim, when I was accosted by that horrid police officer. He threw a blanket over me and wrote me a ticket for a $25.00 fine.

Of all the nerve! What kind of town do we live in now days?

Put Out


Dear Out,

I don’t need a crystal ball or even a call to the Police Station to know that you were walking to the beach in your natural state.

While I, myself, am quite fond of my own natural state, Colony Island has ordinances prohibiting you, me, and the rest of the population from being enroute to or even on the beach without the appropriate attire. Such attire does not include your natural state.

The beach South of the harbour for a distance of around 3 miles is designated as a Public Beach. This means that anyone, including visitors from the mainland, can use the beach. What is more, mainlanders often wind up on our streets because they’re lost.

We are able to maintain our privacy and way of life by not drawing attention to ourselves. Unfortunately, residents in their natural state on either the streets or the public beach are a sure-fire way to advertise that we’re a bit different over here.

My advice to you is to go to City Hall and pay your fine. On the way back, you can pop into a shop and buy a bikini.


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